January Photos

These photos just came today. Wow -- he really has grown! And his hair looks a little less like a mad scientist. (We'll have to fix that. Nothing like a mad scientist to make a family interesting.)

He's Growing

One difference between China and Taiwan (I mean related to the adoption process) is the flow of information. When adopting from China you wait and wait and wait, but nothing comes until the very end, and then all you get is a little burp of information -- a name (assigned by the orphanage), a supposed birth date, a possibly fabricated story on how the child came to the orphanage, then her weight, height, head circumference -- though that data is usually three to six months old.

The wait for Lu-Yu is going to be different. Waiting for a referral from China is an almost mystical experience, or at least the only way to make it through the long informationless wait it is to be mindful and prayerful. Now we have no end of information: we know his birth date, his birth weight, have his health records, photos from every month of his life, we know his doctor's name, and we know his mother's name. We know this little boy, this son of ours, but he's ten million miles away. And that's just not right.

This is what he weighs at just under 11 months (which puts him at the 50 percentile on the growth chart):

• length: 29.33" / 74.5 cm
• weight: 22.27 lb / 10.1 kg
• head: 17.99" / 45.7 cm

We're relieved that he is healthy. We're grateful to get the information. But I'd rather track his growth by how he feels in my arms.

Birth by Paper

Looking back at the birth of Olivia and Frida, I feel like we cheated a bit -- other than signing in at the hospital and filling out the birth registration, I don't think that we did a mote of paperwork. Adoptions, at least international ones, are births by paper.

Here's the status of our birthing to date:

• Initial application - done
  
• Secondary application - done
  
• Adoption questionnaire - done
  
• Autobiography - done
  
• 3 years of tax returns - done
  
• I-600A (immigration) - submitted
  
• Live scan: child abuse check - done (but Luke had to re-do a second time because of a computer failure)
  
• Live scan: state criminal check - done, I think
  
• 3 (each) certified long-form birth certificates - Sheri's are done; mine are ordered from Canada, I think, but I can't be sure. Technically you can only have one long-form certified birth certificate and I requested three, which means that my request probably got thrown into the "ignore since he obviously can't read directions and don't return his calls" file.
  
• 3 certified marriage certificates - done
  
• 3 certified divorce decrees - not yet ;)
  
• 3 certified death certificates - knock on wood
• 3 notarized medical letters - medical done for both; Sheri's waiting notarization and I'm waiting to make sure that I don't have TB. My darn test came back positive and they can't re-test for 30 days. It was either accept the positive, get a chest x-ray, take six months of medecine and don't drink for six months, and get the doctor's signature, or re-test in 30 days. Though it's probably delaying us, I opted for the alcohol.
  
• 4 notarized employment verification letters - done
  
• four-page notarized financial statement - done (as long as the actual quantity doesn't matter) but still needs notarizing
  
• one-page notarized financial statement - ditto
  
• 2 notarized reference letters - picking up the second this weekend
  
• guardianship form - done
  
• bank deposit verification - hoping to win the lottery before actually verifying
  
• insurance verification for child - done
  
• I-134 affidavit of support - done
  
• certification of identity - done. We are pretty sure we are who we are.
  
• CIS fingerprints - waiting
  
• application of adoption letter - done, though I'm not sure how this differs from the first application letter
  
• 5 notarized power of attorney letters - to be notarized still
  
• 2 notarized state adoption law summaries - I think our agency's doing this one
  
• 2 notarized passport photo pages (plus, I've got to renew my passport) - to be notarized
  
• 2 notarized police clearance letters - one down, one to go
  
• 2 nursery application letters - done, I think
  
• 4 colour photographs - done
  
• 1 notarized CIS approval - waiting
  

Would I rather give birth or collect paper? Well, for the former, at least you can get an epidural.

It's Official

We just received news from Taiwan that we have been pre-approved to adopt Lu-Yu. I'd much prefer hearing that we're official approved, but that has to do with a combination of U.S. immigration and the Taiwanese courts. However, both really are just formalities.

So, we've got paperwork, notarization, a positive TB test to be re-taken, some child shuffling and re-doing things in our house, lots of prayer, and a name to choose. Today I feel a bit closer on the latter: Seth. It means "chosen." Ah, but is it him who has been chosen or us?

The Picture that Started This All.

Omidyar.net Discussion

I'm not going to re-post things said over there over here. But here's the over there if you're interested in reading it.

How many pianos did Bach have?

Took a while to post this, since I was working on creating my own blog site. Kudos to Blogger for making things way too easy!

December 13, 2005

As my first ever blog post, I'd like to welcome Huang Lu-Yu into our family. Our family has increased by 20% today -- from five to six. I still can't quite wrap my brain around this. We are often overwhelmed with our three girls. How can we handle another child? How can we afford another child? Where the heck is he going to sleep?

He was born on February 23, 2005 and is being cared for at St. Lucy's Home in Tainan, Taiwan. We haven't officially been approved by the orphanage but we have made the decision to proceed.

Didn't Bach have 20 kids? I wonder how many pianos they had in the Bach manor.

The next six to eight months will be a long journey. I thought, as a cool gesture, that I would try to run every morning, so that in eight months I would have reached Tainan. But some quick division and I'd be looking at over 20 miles a day. Hmm. Don't think that's quite possible, but the thought is dead on.

Love is strange. How can I love this boy, how can I already call him my son, when I have only seen a digital photo of him?

Application Letter

After making the decision to adopt and choosing an agency, one of the first things you have to do is write a letter about why you want to adopt. As are most things in our life, jumping into the things was immediate, or at least looked that way. However, we had been thinking about this step for years. Eventually your gut has to take over, where your head and heart can only take you so far. Anyway, this was my first gut-spilling, and the quick letter became the basis for our application.

Reflections on Our First Adoption Experience

For Sheri, adoption was always a dream. Even after we had our first biological child, Olivia, Sheri knew that some day she would adopt. That dream came to fruition on June 28, 2001, after a very long wait, when we finally met our daughter, Maya.

Except for the waiting, our first adoption was a wonderful experience. We bonded with Maya before we had met her, and once she was with us, we immediately felt as attached to her as we did to Olivia. Seeing those two sisters so comfortable together right from the beginning confirmed that we were meant to be together.

Maya was a scared little girl, and clung to us desperately the first few months. She slowly opened up and has flourished ever since. She is smart, serious, funny, and loyal. She admires her older sister, and is admired by her baby sister. We have been very open with Maya about her adoption story. We incorporate Maya’s Chinese heritage into our family. Our entire extended family feels blessed to have her in our lives.

Even after the birth of our third daughter, Frida, in 2003, we often wondered when we would adopt again. But, as exhausted parents, it was difficult to imagine not only when, but how we would be able to add another child to our family. Parenting isn’t always easy. We can be frustrated and tired, overjoyed and exhilarated – all in the same day. Despite everything, though, at the end of the day we can look back and recognize that we are the best parents for these three girls. And it’s that same recognition that let’s us see that we have room for one more child in our lives.

By no means are we jumping into this second adoption blindly. We have no misconceptions that this will be easy, and we admit that we have fears. We suspect that having a new brother will be at first be difficult for Frida, the baby of our family. We are afraid that each of the girls won’t get the attention they need in those first months as we give special attention to our new son. We understand that the transition and attachment issues may be different than we experienced with Maya, particularly because we will most likely be adopting a child older than she was. But, we are naturally flexible, patient, kind and loving – traits that helped ease Maya’s transition. We trust that they will also help our new son feel at home in our family.

Regardless of how difficult it may at times be, and despite any fears we may have, we are stepping out in faith. We have no doubt that this second adoption is the right decision. And we are very excited. We know what it will feel like to hold him and rock him. We can hear his laughter. We can imagine him running around the corner, chasing one of our cats, in turn being chased by his three sisters. We have a place in our home for this boy.