Paperwork Done (?)

All along the way we seemed to hit bumps in the road when it came to collecting our paperwork. Here are a few of the snafus that we eventually straightened out:

• Letter of good conduct. The first hitch was that Sheri's birthdate on her driver's license doesn't match reality. The sheriff called back saying that she needed to either have it run on the wrong date (would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it?) or would need to submit backup documents and have it re-done. It was re-done, but this time they really screwed up the date. Little did I know, but my wife was born August 10, 1923. They managed (after a very long wait) to have new and correct documents issued and explained the error by saying that the date probably was carried over from the previous person they ran a clearance for. They didn't see the humour when I asked why an 82-year-old person would be asking for a police clearance letter -- Those crazy octogenarians!
• Notarizing. We spent $260+ dollars having our documents notarized by a traveling notary. (Arrived on a pony.) Alas, despite the fact that she has been notarizing for years, every single one of the documents she notarized incorrectly. Not only did we have to get them all re-notarized, I had to re-create some of them from scratch. At least we didn't have to pay her double.
• TB. Was it traveling by rickety old bus for three days through the desert in Western China? Was it watching a muythai boxing in a crowded arena in Bangkok? Was it while working in the emergency ward in that little clinic in Calcutta? (Okay, the last isn't real.) Anyway, I've got latent TB, which means that I don't have to get that pesky little shot in the future -- it's chest X-rays from here on, baby! But, the doctor signed off on my medical form, saying that I'm not contagious (hack, hack, hack), so the immigration and court officials should be happy. Oh, one other potential glitch in medical paperwork. I wasn't asked to pee in a cup. I didn't realize this was part of the medical until coming back a month later to have the papers notarized. The doctor had to re-do the paperwork because (despite my attempts to rip his pen from his hands) he signed the documents before the notary could arrive. He got to the UA line and said, "I got you to pee in a cup when you were here, right?" He really did use the word "pee." I didn't say anything. He just checked it off as okay.
  
• Canadian birth certificates. My dilemma was simple: I needed three long-form birth certificates; the Canadian government says that you can't have more than one. But I need three. But you can only have one. (After this went on another ten times I should have said, "But I need one" and they would have responded "But you can only have three." That would have got them.) Anyway, despite my complaining and their decision to send me only one, they haven't even sent one. The nice part is that our agency said that's okay -- they didn't need them anyway, since they already had one on file. Nonetheless, I'd like to keep this little squabble going with the bureaucrats just for the heck of it. I will get those three forms, whether I need them or not!
• And then little things: last-minute our agency realized that we had never signed the baby contract, so they overnighted this to us; one of our reference letters was incorrectly notarized (and is it correct to say Notary Republic? That's what she wrote on the form. Republic sounds so much grander than a plain old Public.) but that doesn't go to Taiwan, so we got forgiven.
• And there's got to be more, but of course you could care less. But you'd probably like to know that, despite the fact I have submitted a long-form Canadian birth certificate (not one of the three) to U.S. Immigration, since I'm applying for my U.S. citizenship, they argue that my birthday is February the 14th, 1967, as opposed to the February 17th I always thought it was. I'm thinking about just letting it be February 14th, though that would mean that I'll turn 40 next year a couple days early, and that just doesn't seem right.